Dilirium
by yuki san1
Summary: What would happen if Sakura was tired of being invisible to Sasuke? And to what extremes would she go to to make him finnaly see her?


Delirium

Sakura sat in her dark and lonely room. Sasuke had yet again rejected her. Was that all she was good for? For him to always answer her with a negative response? Would Sasuke remember her if she disappeared one day? No, he wouldn't, for she had done nothing special for him to notice her for. At the age of sixteen, she still cried for their lack of relationship, or even companionship, friendship, anything that could tie him and her together as something, _anything…_

Tears crept silently down her red and puffy cheeks, and with each teardrop it felt as if her energy were being drained. She hiccuped, and shoved her hands into her sobbing face. What had he done to her? To make her so weak and helpless?! Her face burned with shame, for allowing a single boy with a dark past to take up such a huge part of her heart.

All she could do was cry, it seemed, it had been something she seemed to perfect lately, almost like a special talent she had since she was born. A shameful talent, in which she could take no pride in, nor wanted to.

Naruto had Kuuybi; Naruto had shown up every one with his and Kuubi's power combined. That's why Sasuke acknowledged him, even a little. At least he talked to Naruto, as a civilized person sometimes. Kakashi had his Sharigan, which linked him and Sasuke somewhat, through a high level bond only persons with high quality charka could sustain.

But Sakura...she had absolutely _nothing_. She had no special talents that he cared for, she wasn't apart of a unique bloodline, and she was just plain. She didn't know what to do with herself at all.

"Why?" She had asked herself many times before, but didn't have the heart to think about the answers. But now, she thought of it, and she felt like she was dying.

'You know it's your fault he hates you, you…with your weak body and emotions…' 

'H-he doesn't _hate _me…he just doesn't know how to express himself.' She defended herself against this angry voice inside her head.

_(She knows the voices in her mind,)_

'**Stop fooling yourself, you know it as I know it. You chased him to the point of loathing you, with your pitiful questions of love.'**

She shook her head, this wasn't happening. Maybe she should go, get away from here, away from Sasuke, her beloved. After all, that's what he would want her to do anyways, She smiled bitterly at the thought.

'**Don't you dare leave! Stop smiling right now! Don't you dare run away from your problems you little wuss!' **

She was right, she was tired of smiling when her heart ached so badly, when her anger flared up in seconds. She was tired of the silence between her and everybody, why shouldn't she be heard?

(They tell her…not to leave; She's tired of smiling madly until silence becomes very silently,)

'O-Ok, then what do you want me to do?' She asked herself, feeling hopelessly lost and confused as to what was happening inside her.

'AHHHH!' 

_(And noise in her mind,_

After all she's got nothing in side,)

'I've got nothing inside, the pain has wiped out everything, what do you want me to do?' She asked again.

'**Stop thinking and start acting! That's what's gotten you into this mess in the first place! You thought about the mysteries of love, and then you find yourself entangled in it's problems!' **

She stopped crying, and began listening to the voice. Maybe, just maybe, she should stop thinking all together and die. That would put her out of her misery, wouldn't it? If she were in oblivion, she wouldn't feel or know anything? Anything would be better than to have to scream in silence, in her mind.

'**You've got to make him see you, to know you're here. You have to do something that he doesn't expect.'**

_(No good to give, _

_No meaning to live,_

_The missing goal tonight,_

_Every single stars,)_

'I have nothing to give, I have no meaning to live. What could I do to make him see me for me, and not for some weakling trying to play ninja?'

'**You could give him…your heart.'**

'I already did that, many times before, and it didn't work.' She said, grasping at her chest while she thought of every time he rejected her feelings of love.

'**No you didn't…'** The voice insisted.

'Yes I-…What do you mean?' She felt a little frightened, what did that voice mean?

'**Give. Him. Your. Heart. Cut it out and give it to him.'** The voice that was once one, had responded in many different voices at the same time.

The voices were mad! She couldn't do that! She couldn't, her duties as a shinobi wouldn't allow her to. Her love for Sasuke wouldn't allow her to…kill herself.

_(After all they say, duties simple say no,_

After all they say, turn away from her love,)

Just the thought scared her, made her cry. To even think of leaving Sasuke-kun like that, in-in that manner! She couldn't. She wouldn't do it.

'**You're so weak! I thought you promised yourself that you wouldn't cry anymore! Your pathetic you whimp! You're so spiritless, god, why did I have to be apart of you?!'**

_(She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight,_

_She knows the noises in her mind,_

Nothings left…but scream in silence…)

Nothing is left for her…She forced herself to stop crying.

'Yes, I did promise myself that, and I intend to keep it.' She said with determination in her thought.

'That's my girl, hell yah!' 

She felt a flicker of pride, but then it was gone. She was numb, she had no feelings left inside.

_(After all she feels numbness inside, the feelings gone, she's upside down,_

The pictures behind her closed down, It's time for me to fall,)

She tried to remember when she had felt numb in her life. Infact, she couldn't think of any time she had felt numb. She had felt empty, which has its big difference, and pain and sorrow, but nothing compared to this new and inviting feeling that was pleasantly overwhelming her. She loved this; she couldn't feel anything, not her body, nor even her soul!

Maybe she could give him her heart after all, if she felt this wonderful… Wait…No…she couldn't, her duty as a ninja strictly prohibited suicide of any sort, unless you had lost a battle, but that was considered a lowly action even if it were just to a person's feelings. What about her love? Could she really leave him behind?…

'**Yess…'** The voice purred, and the voices knew she knew it was right as well. Yes, she could leave him behind, as well as everyone else in the village. Who cared if her duties as a shinobi were at stake? They didn't care about her anyway. And Sasuke could care less about her anyways… They either liked her for her looks or for her brains, but none of them liked her for her.

_(After all they say, duties simple say no,_

_After all they say, turn away from her love,_

She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight,)

'**Now you're thinking Sakura. Breathe deep, you can do it.' **The multiple voices promised.

'How?' She shook a little, but now it was mostly with anticipation.

'**Take a kunai from Sasuke tomorrow, say to him that you were low in supply, or you forgot to bring any at all. He'll be disgusted, and reluctantly give you one. You'll thank him and go about training as if you weren't thinking of anything at all. You with me so far Sakura?' **The voices planned.

Sakura nodded her head, signaling that she understood, and would do what Inner Sakura(s) told her to complete.

'**You will slice the back of your hand and grab a cup from the kitchen cabinet, and let your blood drip into the cup. Once the glass is full, you'll take a piece of paper and dab the kunai he gave you in the blood. You'll write a note about why you are doing this, and why you feel justified in your actions.'** The voices stopped, making sure that Sakura was soaking up what they were telling her. Once they felt that she knew what she needed to do so far, they went on.

'**Then once you're done, put it in an envelope. Open your door, and perform a jutsu that will enable you to stay alive longer than usual, we wouldn't want you to die before your heart was out would we?'** The voice asked, and she felt that the voices were smiling in her head.

'No…We wouldn't.' She agreed, if she succeeded in killing herself before the heart was out, then all her actions would be in vain.

'**Good. The bring his kunai up to your chest, and cut into your chest, and break through your ribcage, and pull out your heart. The jutsu will help you live a bit, but not for more than a few seconds, maybe two or three if we're lucky. Grab your heart, and walk out the door with the envelope in your hand. And then that's it, because you'll be dead by the time you try to get to Sasuke's.'**

She gulped, almost afraid about what she was even thinking. Should she really do this? Would her finally see her as something?

'I-I'm…scared…please…help me.' Sakura pleaded, hoping that Inner Sakura(s) could take over and perform what she was contemplating about.

'**We can steady your hands, but you have to do it yourself.'** The voices offered, and tried to sound kind.

"Okay. Tomorrow then."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

_(After all they say, duties simple say no,_

_After all they say, turn away from her love,_

She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight,)

"You're LATE AGAIN!!!" Both Sakura and Naruto yelled. After three and a half hours of waiting, the silver haird jounin finally appeared, way past the time he said to meet.

"Sorry, I found this very attractive woman, and I tried to um…help her into the er…taxi, and when I offered both of my hands, she er…was a little old lady who had a very big and powerful cane." He looked up, surprised that nobody had interrupted his excuse, and found all three of his pupils laughing, yes, even Sasuke who was chuckling silently to himself.

"L-liar!" They yelled while being doubled over in laughter.

"It's not funny! It hurt!" Kakashi pouted, and whimpered while rubbing a very large and noticeable bump on his head. "Anywayz, back to business, I want to see five clones of yourselves, and I want you guys to spar with the ones you create." He said, serious for once. He had a feeling that something bad was about to happened, and incase it was an attack, he wanted his Chuunins to be ready and opened minded about their attacks.

"Um…Sasuke, could I borrow a few kunai?" She asked, her voice sounded as if it were nervous and shy.

"Why aren't you ever prepared?!" He seemed to be really mad, and flung six kunais at Sakura.

She had to duck to keep them from going into her head, why he trying to kill her? What just happened made Sakura's decision before seem clearer, and even more so desirable. She gathered them out off the trunk of the tree, and ran off.

She quickly made five copies of herself with little effort, and they all spilt them up, hiding and awaiting for an attack, two of them killed each other with their kunai.

Naruto's three clones began beating away at each other, while two remain hidden. After a few minutes, two of the Naruto clones were gone, leaving three.

Sasuke's clones went head on; he wanted to know if he could candle four of him against him all at once. He wanted to test his power.

Sakura found three clones conspiring together, and quickly ambushed them with another clone she had made. They weren't suspecting, and when 'her' Sakura clone drove her kunai into their back. The real Sakura drew back from the upcoming battle, and watched as the three clones turned into logs. She could feel them, and hid herself well. She watched as the three killed the Sakura clone that had tried to ambush them.

Naruto hid himself behind the big leaves of the closest tree within the training area, and watched as his counter parts battled, and they all lost, except for one other. He looked up, and Naruto knew he had been found out, and rushed towards his clone. It looked to him that he would have to borrow a little bit of charka from Kuuybi to defeat this last clone.

Sasuke quickly did the seals and used his famous attack, and watched as all of his clones had disappeared, and amongst the charred ground floor, a few ashes from logs could be seen. 'Dammit!' he growled, he hadn't even seen when his clone threw a kunai into his back. He barely had enough time to dodge, and then activated his Sharigan eye.

Sakura knew that for every clone they destroyed of her, they gained a little more power than they had to begin with. They knew the general location she was in, but she dare not move, for if she did they would ambush her immediately. She made four more clones of herself, a good deal of her charka spent, but not too much, and she sent them after her enemy. They began to attack.

Naruto let go of his Kuuybi charka, he had just defeated his last clone, and boy was he pooped! He plopped down at the "safe" area, and watched as the other battles were taking place. Sasuke had just killed his last clone, and walked back over to where Naruto had plopped himself down, and sat by him and watched as Sakura battled with her self.

Her clones had made one other copy of them selves, and that's all that Sakura would allow them to create. She had to save some charka for herself after all. Once all but two Sakura remained, one clone was on her side, but she commanded that her clone that had defended her attack her as well. They both came at her, and swung their kunais at the place she was at. She quickly made a made a copy, and replaced it with wood, and hid herself behind them. After she picked up a kunai, she lunged at them.

They made quick work after they found out that the Sakura they had attacked was a fake, and turned around. The clone to her left threw a kunai at her, and it grazed her already flushed cheek. But then she felt something hit the side of her arm, and noticed that the same kunai had embedded itself in her upper arm. It had a piece of hair attached to it, Sakura disconnected the hair, and let the kunai stay were it was. Another pain came from her shoulder, where the other Sakura had jammed her kunai into her shoulder, and then pulled back by the other clone.

"They-They're trying to kill her!" Naruto yelled, and jumped up from his resting, and glanced at Sasuke, who was still sitting down.

"That's the point dobe." His meek reply came.

"No, I mean it, they're trying to kill her, and she won't pull them back!" He yelled, and began rushing towards his pink haird comrade.

Sasuke looked at the Sakura, and found out that what Naruto had said was accurate. They were trying to kill her! And to his horror, he was pretty sure she would let them!

Sakura moved to her clones, and ripped out strands of her hair. She filled them with her charka, and wrapped her clones with it, and pulled the strands tightly, and grinned evilly as their faces contorted into ones of pure horror, and pulled them tightly, and in doing so, killing them.

"Yah, you go Sakura!" Naruto yelled as he clapped for her wining.

Kakashi appeared before them as Sakura sat down as well. "You all did so well. Sasuke, great work of getting the job done, and Naruto, good job of controlling your charka so well, I'm proud. And…Sakura…you did so well, making 20 copies and all…You improved so much. My little babies have grown so much!" He added and pretended to sob like a mother. "You're now dismissed."

They all left.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

She had just gotten home; she preformed the jutsu Inner Sakura had taught her. It took about all of her energy; she was almost drained of charka. When she had successfully completed the jutsu, she grabbed the kunai Sasuke had given her, one that she had not used in battle. She grabbed the cup and paper. She slit the flesh on the back of her hand.

'T-The pain feels…I can't feel it!' She thought, with an almost giggle.

'**Of course.' **The voice that had been quiet throughout training, had come back.

_(She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight,_

_After all she's got nothing in side,_

_No good to give, _

_No meaning to live,_

_The missing goal tonight,_

_Every single stars,)_

She couldn't back out now; she had nothing to live for. No hopes, dreams. She had absolutely had nothing inside. She poured her blood into the cup, and waited for it to fill. Once it did, she quietly wrote on the letter.

"_Dear Sasuke…_

_I am nothing and I have nothing. I'm invisible, and will always when be compared to someone else. I'm going to change that, for you. I will make you see me, acknowledge me you will, for I'm about to do something that nobody in this village has ever attempted to do for the one they love. I'm going to give you my heart my love. I will be of no hindrance to my team at all, I'm numb. And I like it. Please…see…my heart…_

_Loved by,_

_Sakura Haruno."_

There, that was done, she went to the door and opened it with much strain on her poor misused muscles. Once it was fully open, it was nighttime, and she was ready.

_(After all they say, duties simple say no,_

_After all they say, turn away from her love,_

_She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight,_

_After all they say, duties simple say no,_

After all they say, turn away from her love,)

She plunged the kunai deep into her chest. She coughed up blood. Her hands were shaking like mad.

'Where are you?' She asked desperately into the oblivion in her mind.

'**Right here, don't worry. You're strong, you can do this.'** Like they had promised, her hands began to steady themselves, and she split her chest open wider. She eventually breached her ribcage, which was protecting her beating heart. Blood gushed out of her self-inflicted wound, and dripped onto the floor. She broke the bone, and pulled out her heart. She walked as fast as she could to the door, her vision blurring. Her other hand reached for the envelope, and she fell down her stairs, dead.

'T-Thank…you…'

'**You're welcome……… my dearest Sakur…a…'** The voice managed to whisper before all of her blood spilled onto the steps, she died.

_(She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight,_

_After all they say, duties simple say no,_

_After all they say, turn away from her love,_

_She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight,_

_After all they say, duties simple say no,_

After all they say, turn away from her love,)

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

And that was how they found her, lying in her own pool of red murky blood. The poor torn Naruto had insisted that they check up on her since she hadn't arrived at the meeting spot; Kakashi was even there before her for gods sake, something had to be wrong!

Naruto sobbed as he made his way back to where his teacher was, and yelled for him to come and hurry. Kakashi, who had rarely ever seen Naruto this shaken up before, followed him without question. Sasuke was curios as to what could make him cry like that, and raced after them.

They gasped at what they saw. Sakura was there, blood everywhere, and it scared them. They had ANBU come and see if it was an assassination attempt, and took everything into evidence. They took the letter from her corpse and bloodied fingers, and gave it to Sasuke. Sasuke, fearing that it may have been Itachi who did this, hurried and opened the letter.

"Well, what does it say Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, while trying to calm the bawling Naruto.

He read it out loud, and felt very guilty for everything he had said to her. He…caused her to do this…h-he couldn't believe it. He sank to his knees, how could he have made her do this?! He had no idea how fragile her mind really was, but never thought his hurtful words would make her kill herself.

Naruto was up and punching madly at Sasuke, who in turn couldn't even block.

"YOU BASTARD! IT'S YOUR ENTIRE FAULT! IF YOU HADN'T IGNORED HER SHE WOULDN'T HAVE K-…killed herself." He sobbed and threw his arms around Sasuke, crying like a lost little kid who had lost their puppy.

"I'm so sorry."

…

….

…..

……

…….

(She said she wouldn't cry, that which she's spiritless tonight.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(AN: Another dark fic. Hoped you guys liked it. I tried to show a little more perspective…but oh wellz if it was just the same. I would like to say that I don't own the song "Delirium-After All" But I'm pretty sure it's from Aqua or from Missing Hearts. The idea for this story came from one of the "Billy And Mandy" shows with the grim reaper where Mandy falls for a guy, and she doesn't want to and asks grim if he will cut her heart out…A little bit different circumstances…hoped you liked this one!

Ja Ne!


End file.
